Alcohol

Alcohol has played a major role in my life. My mother and my sister's boyfriend are both alcoholics. Neither one will accept their problem. I guess being around it has prepared me for what can happen if I drink, but it has also forced me to realize that I can potentially get addicted if I try it. I honestly don't have any interest in the whole partying scene, but I'm not going to try to control someone else's life. If they want to experiment, that's fine. I've seen the long-term effects of it and I think that has forced me to skip that phase.

My mom still calls me when she's drunk, crying about what's going on, hoping to find some encouragement from her 17 year old daughter. I don't even know what to say to her. I wish I could come to her for advice instead of vice versa. I needed her shoulder to cry on, but instead I let her use mine. It's been hard growing up without her being a full-on mom. I did have to learn to cook/clean/take care of myself at a young age. I guess that makes me a little bit more independent than some people, but at the same time, I really do think I missed out on a lot of my childhood. Being farther away from my mom at APU has helped our relationship a lot. I think it's sort of the whole 'out of sight, out of mind" scenario, but I'm not really sure. I pray for her every night and hope that she will let God work in her life, but so far, she has been denying it. I can't give up on her. I know she can change. I believe in her. I love her. Even though it gets rough, I love her so much. I can't let her alcoholism define who she is. It's not fair to her, and it's not fair to me, because if I let it define her, then I'm letting it define me as her daughter...


I know there's drinking on APU's campus. The only thing I have to say about that is that I hope people won't deny it. If you do it, fess up. Be honest. If you aren't, people will look to you as a hypocrite rather than a Christian. I don't know, it's really a sticky situation.... I'd rather not talk about it anymore.